20th of July 2022
How to speak to someone who has cancer? Normally, or, in my case, as you were.
Yes, things have changed, there is this constant shadow now in our daily lives that sort of hovers and sometimes feels heavier than other moments, but if you put it in to perspective, there is always a shadow hiding somewhere, we are just more conscious of it now.
A lot of you told me you were lost for words and in shock and don’t know what to say. I’m afraid, there is no right or wrong here. Just be there. Simple.
With many friends, we live far apart, in other countries, in the same neighbourhood, children, work, just life has happened and that’s OK.
Just the messages, the cards, the goodie boxes, flowers, everything counts. Some of you regularly send me a heart or a hug via whatsapp and that is so wholesome! It boosts me and means so much! Voice messages that I look forward to listening to when I have energy and I smile. Cards and boxes come in the post and it feels like Christmas. Visiting for a short hello, to give a hug recharges my battery. Being open and asking me things makes me feel that you are not treating me like I am already dead. Because, sadly, a lot of people feel that cancer means I’m already done for.
In a way, yes, my life has been shortened, but did I know that? Was I not going to get hit by a car or choke on my food? I still don’t know how long I have, it’s way too early. Are we looking at 10-20 years? Will I beat this and get to see my grandchildren? That’s my plan!
But don’t vanish (unless you were planning to anyway) from people’s lives when cancer enters their world. Cancer today for many people is a chronic disease, for others a back and forth and for me; it’s new for now. But when I tried to explain my optimism I came up with this: it’s a book I read a long time ago as a child. I don’t remember the story. I remember it scared me, excited me, some parts I didn’t understand, some images are still embedded. But I remember the ending, which is good. So, I am re reading it as an adult. I’ll understand the journey better for sure, but I take comfort in knowing that I am reading towards a happy ending.
And you should too❤️
Pic of my handmade bracelet from my niece☺
