31th of July 2022

My skin feels as if I slept on the beach, sunburned like a rookie tourist and now the spots have turned to blisters… Sleeping is exhausting since I have to lie on my back and welcome the chemo heartburn, otherwise when I lie on my side, I create a boob canyon… And traitor boob and left over boob, do not get along right now with all the sensitive skin there 😳 And when I do fall asleep, my bladder decides to sound the alarm, because it cannot contain all the fluids pumped into me with immunotherapy and chemotherapy since last Wednesday…😖

Taste buds continue to be out of whack, but since yesterday they are getting worse: I can taste the glass or the tap more than the water, I crave one thing, eat it and then feel cheated because, well… I’m just chewing something… but my mouth is numb😭

I’m cranky, I’m easily agitated, I want to do things, but joint pain and muscle pain and generally being stiff make me feel like I have just walked out of a frozen bath and then was set on fire to be warmed up faster😤

And on top of that, mosquitoes still find me delicious (you’d think I’d catch a break there🤯) and while my head hair is slowly falling off, my leg and armpit hair have the audacity to stick around🤬

But at the end of the day, I repeat this: it means it’s working…

It wasn’t going to be a breeze… it was and is going to be unpredictable, annoying, difficult and I’m going to loose myself more often like this and for more days at a time. But then I’ll just have to take few deep breaths, say to myself it’s ok, sit down and repeat: it is working!!!

And then get up, curse in every language I know, dust myself off and proceed to then learn a few more curses in more languages✌️

Rant over ❤️