Chemo as you know, is done! (I should add a “for now”, but I’m choosing to be arrogant and because I’m sure I won’t need to do chemo ever again), but the signs that I have had it are very visible😵

Back in July, I was put on a remedy of receiving immunotherapy and chemotherapy intravenously in one sitting. I would get a few other things pumped in me as well: anti-emetics, anti allergens, saline flushes… approximately an extra 2 litres in my system😵‍💫

Now I know what water balloons feel like😄

This would take a good 6-8 hours and I am positive that I looked like Beetlejuice by the end of it each time😆

The obvious signs that I’ve been through chemo are definitely the lack hair, the pale skin, the yellowed fingernails with pus, the droopy eyelids, low energy and the list goes on. Then there are the toilet shenanigans (you get the idea), dry painful skin, dead taste buds, neuropathy with the painful toes and clumsy fingers… I feel like a troll trying to hold a small pencil when I write, putting on my socks like Mr.Bean, typing, cooking, gardening, holding hands… And now that the holidays are coming, you can imagine how I’ve been wrapping up presents!😑

There is also the dread inside me, that creeps up on me with scary words such as “borrowed time” “reoccurrence” “treatment not working”… I mentally use a fly swat to flick them away and that movement extends physically too. So if you see me randomly swating the air around my head, it’s just me shooing my demons and my traumas away🫣

I’m no stranger to intrusive negative thoughts. I’ve had some nasty experiences in the past (that’s for another time) and now “cancer” has been added to the pile (sarcastic cheer). And to my therapists pile (sarcastic cheer x2)😏

But therapy does magic and it is cleansing. I’m reminded to be patient and kind to myself. And I am❤️

I spoil myself, cause I’m worth it! *tosses imaginary hair back like in the adverts and winks*.

Awesome handmade t-shirt from my friend, who also makes awesome cakes, which I shall devour once my taste buds regenerate😁