What a lot of people fail to understand about chemotherapy is that it drains you. Not just your energy or your immune system. It takes a toll on your emotions, on your mind and your will❤️‍🩹

I’ve heard the “oh, but last time, on day X you felt better” too often now. I’m afraid there is no pattern. I wish there was! So does every chemo patient ever😒

It builds up: It doesn’t end at the previous round and then you start again. No… Since my first chemo round I never fully recovered😵‍💫

Maybe if I explain it in a certain way it will help 🙂 So here is an analogy for you:

You look like a you walked through a pyramid, opened a cursed sarcophagus and got the life sucked out of you *makes ugly sucking noises, drinking the last drops of water with a straw from a cup with ice, for side effects*🥤

That was probably not a good one…🤔

Let’s try this:

I was a vase that had a few dangerous cracks in its core. The only way to make me stronger and erase them, was to attempt to break me open and then put me back together. That was the first gamble. It worked. I was thrown on the floor, I cracked open into big pieces, was collected and glued back together.

Now, since we know this method worked, let’s stick to it and erase those inner bad cracks completely. While creating new outer ones😐

And I’m thrown and smashed and glued again. And again. Before the glue is set. And the pieces that need to be collected are no longer big and visible, the glue is not drying fast enough and I’m relying on surviving until the next throw😟

Once the last throw has taken place, then I will be left to dry. To heal. That will take more time and every throw I will have endured will be visible through every single crack. But I will heal. Slowly🐌 But surely. And with an attitude! Like Deadpool 😁

And that is when I will pour gold and silver to smooth everything out and I will look amazing🦄

Last throw is November, hopefully 💪

Pic of me, the lost jedi, finally out of their cave, over a bowl of delicious soup my awesome sister in law made with love and happiness that my tummy is holding on to gratefully 🥰