For my cancer fellowship and whoever else needs it (my hugs reach everyone)❤️

Not sure if blue Monday was in retrospect or retrograde or just retro or Hermes and Jupiter were colliding or one of the stars was upside down, but this January felt heavy. And slooow…

Not just for me. I read posts in my cancer support groups and spoke with friends who shared that they feel down, emotionally heavy and just couldn’t shake the bad thoughts and negative feelings.

January is anyway a month that I find drags on with no end in sight. And for some reason, so many expectations are set this month with the so-called “new year resolutions”. We set the bar super high and then put the fail mark. On ourselves. That’s not failure. That’s just being too hard on ourselves for no good reason🙄

But for us who have been marked by a disease, the struggle hits a little extra. We go through the turmoil of knowing that life shouldn’t be taken for granted, and grief that we have lost that carelessness of actually living. We lived before, but we breathed freely. Now we live and look over our shoulders constantly. And then we feel guilty that we aren’t seizing the moment and wasting time worrying. Catch 22 if I ever saw one…🙃

It’s a heavy weight to carry alone, but we do because we are grateful that none of our loved ones know really how this feels. It’s normal that we slip and fall and drop the weight and cry because we don’t know how we will ever get back up and pick up that weight again and keep moving. But we do💪

So, my little message to all of you: it’s not (y)our time yet, not for a long time. Believe that, if nothing else. We will get to go on our adventures, see our children grow and live until the aches in our joints are from old age and not treatment. Believe it. And on the days that you feel demotivated and don’t believe it, I will believe it for you. And on my bad days, you can believe it for me💝

We’re here to stay!😎
*gallops away on a battle horse in bloody armour, waving sword about and looking mighty intimidating. Oh yeah, and hair is waving in the wind*
Saw these signs at the secondhand shop, which I would normally cringe at, but I took it as a sign and took a pic😅